How To Cure Jolly Floggin’

Yep, the weekend and time for some silly stuff…….what is life without a little humor?

First, something I thought about while researching the other day…….For the life of me I cannot see the point of a circle!  Think about it.

Now…………… Sriracha?  I am sick of this crap!  Just as I was sick of the crap it replaced….Buffalo Sauce……you want hot then man up and eat Harissa……that should have you begging for ice cream…..

Now to the grits and the gravy of day’s post……..it is a bit personal….I do not usually do personal….but what the hell we are all friends, right?……

I recall when I discovered what to do with the horribly big erection in the morning…….all I had to do was get a hold of myself and……Flog my Jolly!

Then it became almost mandatory to do so……surely there was a cure for that compulsion……VIOLA!  There was and you will not believe what it was…….

Kellogg’s Corn Flakes sure are tasty, crunchy, and a great cure for masturbation. Sorry, the last bit’s not true—but it’s partly why John Harvey Kellogg and his brother invented the cereal back in 1878, Real Clear Science reports. An outspoken surgeon, writer, and medical chief at Battle Creek Sanitarium in Michigan, Kellogg abstained from sex and warned against the alleged dangers of masturbation. Such dangers included insanity, impotence, epilepsy, acne, poor posture, and blindness, in Kellogg’s view. Among his tips: Avoid all “exciting and irritating food,” wrote the Seventh Day Adventist. “A man that lives on pork, fine-flour bread, rich pies and cakes, and condiments, drinks tea and coffee and uses tobacco, might as well try to fly as to be chaste in thought.”

He also invented a few grain breakfast cereals “as healthy, ready-to-eat anti-masturbatory morning meals,” reports Mental Floss. Brother Will, who managed the sanitarium’s books, helped him invent corn flakes but wanted sugar on them to help them sell—an addition John refused to accept. Meanwhile, John suggested more severe anti-masturbatory practices, like running a wire through boys’ foreskins to curb erections and burning the clitoris with carbolic acid to keep girls’ fingers away. Today we know the health benefits of self-love, like reduced depression, lowered prostate-cancer risk, and a better immune system, the Conversation notes.

There you have it…..the next time you get the urge to flog your jolly just pour yourself a bowl of corn flakes and relax……..the urge will dissipate……

AHHHHHH………….I feel better already!

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