Live From New York!

When you retire you have plenty of time to wax nostalgic….and the weekends are the perfect time for me to do so…..

I remember those iconic words to the intro of a new comedy show on NBC….starring Chevy Chase, Laraine Newman, Dan Ackroyd, Bill Murray and John Belushi, Gilda Radner, and Garret Morris ( I am sure I forgot someone)(plus my spelling could be off as well)…..

I was a bar manager in those days and it became a ritual of watching SNL…the jukebox was off, the band had to take a break, etc. and the bar would settle in for some great humor.

I admit that once the original cast departed I lost interest….don’t get me wrong the replacements were humorous and good for the parts but they were not the originals…..and IMO not as funny.  Yes Will Ferrel is funny…..and Eddie Murphy….and….they all are funny just not as funny as the originals.

Recently Chevy Chase has made the news around SNL…..

“The worst [expletive deleted] humor in the world.” That’s what Chevy Chase has to say about today’s Saturday Night Live, FOX reports. Chase, an original SNL cast member, made the comment during a lengthy interview with the Washington Post, during which he also took shots at a couple former cast members. Will Ferrell’s George W. Bush? “Just not funny.” Tina Fey? He liked her, but “didn’t see what all the folderol was about.” As for SNL co-creator Lorne Michaels: “I’m amazed that Lorne has gone so low. And the audience of millions? “A whole generation of s—heads.” So when, in Chases’ estimation, was Saturday Night Live worth watching? The first couple of seasons, he says, adding “Why am I saying that? Because I was in it? I guess.”

FINALLY!

You should see the looks I get these days when I tell people I do not think SNL is as funny as it should be…..most look like I just insulted Jesus or someone of equal importance.

I know what am I thinking?  Well to be honest I do not think Seinfeld is all that funny either……so if you like chalk it up to me being an old fart.

Glad to see I  am NOT alone.

Time for that relaxation I look for on weekends……(the “honey dos” are getting a bit much, LOL)

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Closing Thought–30Aug18

I apologize for the scant posts today…another day with the doctors and they are never on time……

Keeping with the tone of this week’s closing thoughts I have chosen yet another Bad Lip Reading for your enjoyment….

Twice now the nation, the US, has been on the edge of its seats because of the royal weddings of the Uk’s ruling family……me I did not watch it did not really care but the nation was all a-gaga…..

Only fair that I give you Bad Lip Readings take on the wedding of the century (or something like that)……..

Please enjoy……

Can anyone explain the popularity of the royals in the US…….the humor is excellent…..but that is about it.

Vintage Social Networking

My granddaughter visited and we had a great talk about social media and where it was likely to go.

Then we talked about the “social media” in my day….she found it all so humorous…..it is official…I am OLD!

We have come a long way….but I still use the old school times….my granddaughter did a cartoon of me standing along side a T-Rex….(she did make it clear that there was NO religious content to her ‘toon)……I will get even…..

Jews On First

Morning all….the weekend begins and I will be busy these days….I have a garden working with tomatoes, radishes, asparagus, onions and chard….I will also be doing some work in the orchard with the tangerines, limes, satsumas, plums, pears and peaches and a few figs…….damn….forgot the grapes…….it is a lot of work but well worth it.

I am old enough that I remember a routine by Abbott and Costello, the “Who’s on first” routine….it was brilliant….back in the 80’s I was a fan of the Wayans and “In Living Color”….some excellent humor and they did an update of the Abbott and Costello routine only theirs was called “Jews On First”……it has Sharpton and Farrakhan as the talkers…….

Hope you guys appreciate how well these guys did this piece……

What’s In A Name?

Thanksgiving is done and now we wait for the next “big” meal….Christmas….since I refuse to be part of the blind consumerism that is the “holiday shopping” days….I will instead offer up a little humor…..

Doews anyone remember the movie “16 Candles”?  If so then you will recall a very memorable character in the movie, Long Duc Dong.  If so then I can do you one better….

Wondering why “Phuc Dat Bich” was trending on Twitter? No, it’s not some crazy new spelling of a foul-mouthed slam, it’s … a guy’s name. And it’s making headlines because the 23-year-old is quite unhappy that Facebook keeps shutting down his account over suspicions it’s a fake name, Australia’s News Network reports. “I’ve been accused of using a false and misleading name of which I find very offensive,” the Vietnamese-Australian wrote, alongside of a picture of his passport that he posted to the social media site. “I find it highly irritating the fact that nobody seems to believe me when I say that my full legal name is how you see it.”

His name is actually pronounced Phoop Dook Bic, per ANN, which notes that “Phuc Dat” is a common Vietnamese name. “He’s able to get through international airports so it is legitimate,” one of the man’s friends—refuting suggestions that the passport had been doctored—tells the Herald Sun. As the Huffington Post points out, the photo was originally posted in January, but for some reason surged in popularity this week, and currently has about 140,000 “likes” and has been shared more than 75,000 times.

If it were me….I would change it to John Smith.

I knew it was too good to be true……

As the Sydney Morning Herald puts it, Phuc Dat Bich “faked dat” name. The 23-year-old Australian who convinced the world that his awkward-sounding name had resulted in Facebook shutting down his account now says the whole thing was a hoax. He apparently spilled the beans after SBS News contacted him with doubts about his story, noting that a passport photo he provided was Photoshopped and the name “Bich” isn’t a common Vietnamese surname. “What started as a joke between friends became a prank that made a fool out of the media,” he wrote on Facebook Wednesday, identifying himself as Joe Carr—or possibly “joker,” per the BBC. He tells the Herald his name is actually Tin Le, while Mashable identifies him by way of a supposed former classmate as Thien Nguyen.

The Herald notes he asked to be called “Mr. T” for fear that he would lose his job. He says the ruse began “with me fooling Facebook, it then somehow shared across the pages.” The “ordeal” taught him “not to trust the credibility of the media,” the prankster adds. “It goes to show that an average joe like myself can con the biggest news sources with ease.” He also thanks the people who stood by him, even though it was all for naught. “To those who do have culturally specific and spectacular names, ignore the ignorance in those who may try to put you down,” he says. “Continue being the best person you can be and make your mark on the world in whatever way you can—even if it is a simple prank.”

Oh well….it was fun while it lasted……got his 15 minutes of fame…..

How To Cure Jolly Floggin’

Yep, the weekend and time for some silly stuff…….what is life without a little humor?

First, something I thought about while researching the other day…….For the life of me I cannot see the point of a circle!  Think about it.

Now…………… Sriracha?  I am sick of this crap!  Just as I was sick of the crap it replaced….Buffalo Sauce……you want hot then man up and eat Harissa……that should have you begging for ice cream…..

Now to the grits and the gravy of day’s post……..it is a bit personal….I do not usually do personal….but what the hell we are all friends, right?……

I recall when I discovered what to do with the horribly big erection in the morning…….all I had to do was get a hold of myself and……Flog my Jolly!

Then it became almost mandatory to do so……surely there was a cure for that compulsion……VIOLA!  There was and you will not believe what it was…….

Kellogg’s Corn Flakes sure are tasty, crunchy, and a great cure for masturbation. Sorry, the last bit’s not true—but it’s partly why John Harvey Kellogg and his brother invented the cereal back in 1878, Real Clear Science reports. An outspoken surgeon, writer, and medical chief at Battle Creek Sanitarium in Michigan, Kellogg abstained from sex and warned against the alleged dangers of masturbation. Such dangers included insanity, impotence, epilepsy, acne, poor posture, and blindness, in Kellogg’s view. Among his tips: Avoid all “exciting and irritating food,” wrote the Seventh Day Adventist. “A man that lives on pork, fine-flour bread, rich pies and cakes, and condiments, drinks tea and coffee and uses tobacco, might as well try to fly as to be chaste in thought.”

He also invented a few grain breakfast cereals “as healthy, ready-to-eat anti-masturbatory morning meals,” reports Mental Floss. Brother Will, who managed the sanitarium’s books, helped him invent corn flakes but wanted sugar on them to help them sell—an addition John refused to accept. Meanwhile, John suggested more severe anti-masturbatory practices, like running a wire through boys’ foreskins to curb erections and burning the clitoris with carbolic acid to keep girls’ fingers away. Today we know the health benefits of self-love, like reduced depression, lowered prostate-cancer risk, and a better immune system, the Conversation notes.

There you have it…..the next time you get the urge to flog your jolly just pour yourself a bowl of corn flakes and relax……..the urge will dissipate……

AHHHHHH………….I feel better already!