He Has All Sober To Sunday Up

I thought I would leave my readers with a little humor as this week draws to a conclusion….a raccoon has a binder….

The masked burglar broke into the closed Virginia liquor store early on Saturday and hit the bottom shelf, where the scotch and whisky were stored. The bandit then proceeded to go on something of a nocturnal rampage: bottles were smashed, a ceiling tile collapsed, and alcohol pooled on the floor. The suspect acted like an animal because, in fact, he’s a raccoon, the AP reports. On Saturday morning, an employee at the liquor store in Ashland, Virginia, found the trash panda passed out on the bathroom floor at the end of his drunken escapade.

“I personally like raccoons,” said Samantha Martin, an officer who works at the local animal control. “They are funny little critters. He fell through one of the ceiling tiles and went on a full-blown rampage, drinking everything.” Martin said she took the raccoon to the animal shelter, though she had her fair share of giggles along the way. “Another day in the life of an animal control officer, I guess,” she said.

The Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter commended Martin for handling the break-in, and confirmed the raccoon had sobered up. “After a few hours of sleep and zero signs of injury (other than maybe a hangover and poor life choices), he was safely released back to the wild, hopefully having learned that breaking and entering is not the answer,” the agency said.

At least he made it to the toilet.

I think we ought to name him after another now infamous binder drinker, Hegseth.

Whatcha think?

I hope everyone has a great weekend and as always….Be Well and Be Safe….

I Read, I Write, You Know

“lego ergo scribo”

Year’s End–2022

Another year is coning to a close (in my case not soon enough) as my last post of 2022 instead of some mundane post I will leave my readers with a little humor.

The first video is my favorite….the gorilla gets my vote for best video of the year.

https://original.newsbreak.com/@ray-rauth-1587783/2697365620109-video-gorilla-poses-for-pictures-at-the-zoo

I wish all of my readers a very safe and happy New Year’s eve….celebrate wisely.

On To The New Year!

Closing Thought–02Nov20

I thought I would bring a little humor to the day before the vote…..I am sure most of us could use a chuckle these days…..

There has been a study (there is always a study) conducted on the subject of LGBTQ…….a study that had me smiling for awhile after I read it…..

Sugar, spice, and … ghostly possession? Those are ingredients that make up a huge chunk of the LGBTQ+ population, if one absurd “research study” is to be believed.

According to a bizarre article published on the Spiritual Science Research Foundation‘s website (which at the time of writing has since been taken down), an overwhelming majority of gay people are, apparently, possessed by some form of ghostly spirits — 85 percent, to be exact — and these spirits are the driving force behind our gayness.

“The main reason behind the gay orientation of some men is that they are possessed by female ghosts, and the female ghost in them is attracted to other men,” the Spiritual Science Research Foundation wrote in its sham study, as reported by PinkNews

But if you thought possession was limited to men, think again! Lesbians also experience possession, but from male ghosts, which explains their attraction to women, the foundation says. 

https://www.advocate.com/news/2020/10/28/majority-gays-are-possessed-ghosts-so-called-study-says

Do I really need to comment any further?

I Read, I Write, You Know

“lego ergo scribo”

Space Force (Netflix)

I have written a lot on the US newest military service, the Space Force, I think it will be a huge siphon of cash from the taxpayer…..but that said this post is about a Netflix series entitle as it were Space Force.

But first….the real mission of the real Space Force……https://www.theamericanconservative.com/articles/the-space-forces-real-mission-wasting-taxpayer-dollars/

Welcome Spacemen!

The series was in the works before the official announcement of the Trump’s Space Force……a series created by and starring Steve Carell with John Malkovich……

A couple of trailers for your consideration…

But this is not a review of the Netflix series but rather the name…Space Force….it is about a legal question that could arise….

This from The Hill……

The Netflix original comedy “Space Force,” which is based on the new branch of the military launched by President Trump, reportedly obtained trademark rights for the name before the government.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the show secured trademark rights to “Space Force” in multiple places, including Europe, Australia and Mexico, while the Air Force owns only a pending application for registration in the United States. That means the show has more confirmed trademark rights than the U.S. military. 

The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office usually grants trademarks based on a “first-to-use” system, and Netflix filed for the trademark as early as January. 

The Netflix show named after the branch debuted late last month and follows Steve Carell’s character, who works as a general developing the new Space Force. In addition to Carell, who portrayed the popular character Michael Scott in “The Office,” the series also stars actors John Malkovich, Ben Schwartz, Jimmy O. Yang, Diana Silvers and Lisa Kudrow.

While most people understand the difference between the show “Space Force” and the military Space Force, the trademark could play into merchandise confusion if clothing or a mug, for example, were to hit stores and customers were curious as to who was actually selling the goods.

(thehill.com)

In case you are interested……Very funny…..the series not the idea of a Space Force…..

We are on our way to the Moon…..and it is not for scientific research but rather as an occupying force…..something to think about when you watch Netflix series, The Space Force.

I Read, I Write, You Know

“lego ergo scribo”

Kids Say The Damnedest Things

Sunday and time for a little humor….

Back in my day Art Linkletter had a program on the Tube called “Kids Say The Darnedest Things” where he would talk with kids on every show and their hilarious answers…..

Keeping in that vane…I found a site that has some great stuff by kids….who, by the way, are a lot sharper than we give them credit…..

Learning new, fascinating, and sometimes boring facts in school is a rather daunting task. If you really think about it, kids have to be prepared to learn new things every day and then regurgitate that information in the form of test answers. Sometimes, kids nail their tests and other times they provide answers that are wrong but worth a few points just because of the humor they bring to our lives. Here are some absolutely correct but wrong test answers that will have you rolling on the floor laughing.

I’m A Freeloader

This kid didn’t mince their words and for that, we love him. Because deep down, we definitely feel the same way. At least we know exactly where this kid stands on finding a job and supporting themselves. Maybe their attitude will change in the future and they’ll pick up a job or two, but honestly, we don’t know.

Freeloader-Kid-86626.jpg

https://www.giveitlove.com/hilarious-kid-answers-to-test-questions/

Believe me…their answers will tickle your fancy and in some cases make you cry with laughter….

Enjoy!

In closing….TS Cristobal bears down on the Gulf Coast….we will see lots of rain and a bit of wind…Louisiana may not be that lucky…they are looking at a possible storm surge….

Be Well…..Be Safe……

“lego ergo scribo”

The Mystery Of The Muddy Shower

The Old Professor’s Mystery Theater

My Saturday and a rainy day…little did I know that a mystery of epic proportions would present itself…a mystery that need solving for the good of mankind.

Thunder….lightening…..down pour after down pour….an atypical Summer Saturday in the Deep South.

It all began so innocently….I felt the urge come over me and made my way, awkwardly, down the hall turn the corner and into the bathroom…as I entered the door I noticed something unusual…..foot prints from an unknown source….

Image

I studied for a moment….searching my mental files on the prints and then followed them to the door….

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I was fascinated with the mystery surrounding the unidentified foot prints…..so I followed them as far as I could and they brought me to the culprit…..using my considerable tracking skills I found the perp.

There she was looking as innocent as a babe.

She was sitting in her favorite chair and when I asked if she had been in the bathroom I get the typical.”What?  Who me?” look.

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She had been outside in the rain and mud and decided to wander around the house leaving her mark everywhere she went. (and I imagine she was snickering all the while)

The interrogation ended when MoMo decide to end it…..to wait for her attorney.

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My constant barrage of questions  abruptly ended when she decided that it was nap time for she had enough of the questions and accusations.

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Another mystery solved!

No matter the culprit I still had to clean the mess.

I wish I could solve the one of where my sock goes in the dryer….but that will be for another weekend in the rain….then there is that sound in the kitchen that no one hears but her.

Have a good Saturday….Be well be safe…..

“Lego Ergo Scribo”

Saturday–03Nov18

Cooler weather once again has come around….maybe this time it will stick around longer than a couple of days….we can hope.

I begin my weekend posting with a photo of a potato….I love a baked potato with lots of butter and sour cream but eateries never have a big potato I have to settle for those small ones….but then I saw a great potato at my local grocery…..

It was heavenly!

Enough of the foodie thingy…..we are in the middle of NFL season and we just finished the World Series…..I am not a big fan of organized sports but I do enjoy the guys at Bad Lip Reading…..

First we have the World Series……

Next their take on the NFL…

These guys are genius…..they NEVER stop being funny…..it is important to start your day with humor…….enjoy!

For me their takes are far more entertaining than the actual sports…..I hope you guys will have a great Saturday and enjoy yourself as much as you can.

Be well, Be safe…….chuq

Live From New York!

When you retire you have plenty of time to wax nostalgic….and the weekends are the perfect time for me to do so…..

I remember those iconic words to the intro of a new comedy show on NBC….starring Chevy Chase, Laraine Newman, Dan Ackroyd, Bill Murray and John Belushi, Gilda Radner, and Garret Morris ( I am sure I forgot someone)(plus my spelling could be off as well)…..

I was a bar manager in those days and it became a ritual of watching SNL…the jukebox was off, the band had to take a break, etc. and the bar would settle in for some great humor.

I admit that once the original cast departed I lost interest….don’t get me wrong the replacements were humorous and good for the parts but they were not the originals…..and IMO not as funny.  Yes Will Ferrel is funny…..and Eddie Murphy….and….they all are funny just not as funny as the originals.

Recently Chevy Chase has made the news around SNL…..

“The worst [expletive deleted] humor in the world.” That’s what Chevy Chase has to say about today’s Saturday Night Live, FOX reports. Chase, an original SNL cast member, made the comment during a lengthy interview with the Washington Post, during which he also took shots at a couple former cast members. Will Ferrell’s George W. Bush? “Just not funny.” Tina Fey? He liked her, but “didn’t see what all the folderol was about.” As for SNL co-creator Lorne Michaels: “I’m amazed that Lorne has gone so low. And the audience of millions? “A whole generation of s—heads.” So when, in Chases’ estimation, was Saturday Night Live worth watching? The first couple of seasons, he says, adding “Why am I saying that? Because I was in it? I guess.”

FINALLY!

You should see the looks I get these days when I tell people I do not think SNL is as funny as it should be…..most look like I just insulted Jesus or someone of equal importance.

I know what am I thinking?  Well to be honest I do not think Seinfeld is all that funny either……so if you like chalk it up to me being an old fart.

Glad to see I  am NOT alone.

Time for that relaxation I look for on weekends……(the “honey dos” are getting a bit much, LOL)

Closing Thought–30Aug18

I apologize for the scant posts today…another day with the doctors and they are never on time……

Keeping with the tone of this week’s closing thoughts I have chosen yet another Bad Lip Reading for your enjoyment….

Twice now the nation, the US, has been on the edge of its seats because of the royal weddings of the Uk’s ruling family……me I did not watch it did not really care but the nation was all a-gaga…..

Only fair that I give you Bad Lip Readings take on the wedding of the century (or something like that)……..

Please enjoy……

Can anyone explain the popularity of the royals in the US…….the humor is excellent…..but that is about it.

Vintage Social Networking

My granddaughter visited and we had a great talk about social media and where it was likely to go.

Then we talked about the “social media” in my day….she found it all so humorous…..it is official…I am OLD!

We have come a long way….but I still use the old school times….my granddaughter did a cartoon of me standing along side a T-Rex….(she did make it clear that there was NO religious content to her ‘toon)……I will get even…..