The weekend and time for me to veer off course and do something funny, entertaining or just damn amusing………this story caught my attention because I have used the false positive before…I will explain after you read the following…….

A first-time mother who says she failed a drug test while in labor because she ate poppy seeds has sued a Pittsburgh hospital, saying officials defamed her and violated her doctor-patient confidentiality by sharing the results with a child welfare agency. Rachael Devore, 31, who gave birth at Magee-Women’s Hospital of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center on June 24, contends in her lawsuit that the hospital staff tested her urine while she was in labor and then turned over the “positive” drug test to county caseworkers. That led to weeks of random visits to her home. Opiates like heroin are made from poppies, which is why the seeds can result in false positives on drug tests. But Devore said she didn’t realize what prompted the failed drug test until weeks later—when she bought the same kind of bread she had eaten the day before she went into labor and saw poppy seeds when she sliced into it. “I just delivered and it’s supposed to be this beautiful, wonderful, happy time and I’m being accused of something that’s completely ridiculous,” she says. “To be accused of physically and purposely harming your child is a very tough accusation to swallow.”

Now for my story with poppy seeds……

When my daughter was in high school the toads in control decided that they were going to start drug testing the students….it was suppose to be a secret but I was doing the principles twin daughters and they let the scheme slip one night…….so for 3 weeks I fed my daughter everything that had poppy seeds in it…..muffins, salad dressings, rolls, etc……well they tested my daughter and I was called in to get the news that my daughter was using opiates…..I let the principle tell me all about it….I stood and looked at him and said….”I know.  I have been feeding her poppy seeds for weeks.  The point is YOU WILL NOT test my daughter without my permission.  Do it again and I will own this f*cking building.  Are we clear?”

Needless to say…we never had another incident while she was at that school.  Damn!  It felt good to be a dick!