Irene, Keep An Eye Out For The Sex Police

Smiling now! It is the weekend and all my hard work from last week can be put to bed for a couple of days and I can smile and enjoy family and food…….. lots of food…….and maybe a nice Bordeaux.

Yesterday, Friday, was a horrible day….my internet was intermittent at best…..we all know how frustrating that can be, right?

I have been researching Central Asia for a series that I am writing for my friends over at Legationes……that is an area that has little info in Western sources so I have to read a lot and give myself massive headaches……

Who doesn’t like a post on sex?

However I did find something of interest while researching……a sex tax!

Say what? No, really there is a proposal coming out of Kazakhstan…….

It may or may not have been a joke: The leader of a Muslim group in Kazakhstan has laid out a series of possible sex taxes, taking into account variables such as knowledge of the state language, homosexuality and even (perhaps) how well-endowed you are.

Murat Telibekov, of the Muslim Union of Kazakhstan, came up with a comprehensive list of financial repercussions for engaging in various kinds of intercourse, and posted it on Facebook. Kazakh and Russian media were quick to pick it up.

Admittedly, there is nothing in the post indicating whether he was serious or not, and some of the outlets suggested that it may have been a response to a recently-introduced tax on picking wild mushrooms and berries.

The extensive list covers most of the ways of cavorting in bed (or not) that you might be able to think of, and proposes a broad range of fees, to be paid on a by-case basis.

Under the proposal, the cheapest you can pay is about $1, if you’re married and a Kazakh. This includes a 50 percent discount if at least one of you knows the state language. However, that is only if you do it the ‘traditional’ way and for no longer than 14 minutes.

From there, the tax only grows: If you and your partner are in a long-term relationship, but not officially married, it’s about $2.50 (again, this and any other price on the list can be cut in half if you know Kazakh).

A one night stand will cost you a base fee of almost $7.

If you’re gay, the proposal sets the tax at some $10.

Then it gets interesting: A vaguely-defined “non-traditional” act should be taxed at about $18, the proposed bill says.

Further multipliers are applied if you last for over 14 minutes, if you are especially well-endowed (assuming “engine volume” to be a euphemism for this), or if you’re a foreigner. Foreigners, naturally, will have to pay double to have sex in Kazakhstan.

Perhaps the most interesting part of the proposal is the part on how the tax is supposed to be enforced……………. Via a special police unit with the right to invade homes without a court ruling.

The proposal does have a well-meaning goal. All the tax money will go to improve the reproductive health of Kazakhstan’s people and combat STDs.

You have heard about the Food Police…..maybe even the Thought Police (1984)……but a Sex Police?

I am sure there will be someone clever enough to make it about Islam……..But if you think about it….it does sound like something the GOP would consider.

Please throw out a few comments……

The Problem With Poaching

The weekend and we divert from the insanity of war and politics and look for something else that can amuse and/or inform us…..

Poaching has been a big story for awhile now…..most of it is about the poaching of say elephants for their ivory and then there are those animals that are poached so that Asian gentlemen can put a little lead in their pencils…..black bear bile, rhino horn, pads off of certain animals feet…all supposedly will put the “go” into your giddy up…….lead in your pencil……

Put there is another form of poaching that does not killing an animal….for the same reasons….POTENCY!

A federal judge earlier this month sentenced a North Carolina man to six months in jail. The crime? Illegally possessing more than 500 ginseng roots he harvested in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, reports the Asheville Citizen-Times. He’s far from the only domestic ginseng poacher: By New York magazine’s count, the last five years have seen 53 arrests for the crime in that park alone. There’s a financial incentive to breaking the law. Thanks in part to its reputation as nature’s Viagra, ginseng’s popularity could drive prices for this fall’s harvest to $1,400 a pound. But the price of that popularity is that it is now being overharvested in places where it grows wild—primarily in public parks in the Ozarks and Appalachia—and this could have major implications for those ecosystems.

“It is becoming a concern,” a conservation officer in Indiana tells the Indianapolis Star. “We are seeing declining numbers.” That state doesn’t allow for harvesting before Sept. 1, the point at which the root’s berries can be replanted; ginseng younger than five years also can’t be legally uprooted. Whether the ginsenosides found in ginseng actually boost mood, energy, and sexual appetite is up for debate, but one of about 15 licensed ginseng dealers in Indiana says it does and gives a small chuckle. The roots with longer necks and more rings are said to be more potent, and harvesting them can take hours. “Poke a hole in it with a shovel,” America’s preeminent ginseng specialist says, “and you’re screwed.” Some 95% of ginseng is exported to Asia, chiefly Korea and China, where wild ginseng has been harvested “into near extinction,” as New York puts it. Odd fact: Buyers will pay extra for a “man root,” meaning one that is in the shape of a human with four limbs and a penis. (Kim Jong Un has made a wild claim involving ginseng.)

And there you have the new poaching grounds for illegal joint multipliers…..oh what we men will do to keep the joint working……..it would be sad if it weren’t so damn humorous. Maybe the rhinos and other poor animals will catch a break now.

Any input?

Have a good weekend my friends!

Pres. Harding Could Not Keep It In His Pants!

Yep that time again! A history lesson to keep you informed and educated…..I love some history………history makes everything fun………you are welcome.

Warren G. Harding the 29th president of the United States…..served as prez 19221-1923…….he has the dubious distinction as being one of the worse presidents (yes, even worse than Obama) in our short history.

His presidency was choke full of scandals from the Teapot Dome to the Veterans Department……..but his most ‘wicked’ scandal was that of an extramarital affair which produced a daughter……the affair came to light after his death in a biography…….of course most of the allegations were disputed….that is until recently…….

Her 1927 tell-all book describing an affair with America’s 29th president—and claiming him as the father of her child—propelled Nan Britton to the title of Warren G. Harding’s most famous mistress. But as Britton only revealed the relationship after Harding’s death and said she’d destroyed their correspondence according to his wishes, the love affair has remained only rumor for almost a century. Now, genealogists say rumor has finally been cemented into truth: President Harding was the father of Britton’s daughter, Elizabeth Ann Blaesing, reports the New York Times. The truth unraveled when Harding’s grandnephew and grandniece, Peter and Abigail Harding, contacted Blaesing’s son, James. They agreed to DNA testing through AncestryDNA, which returned what an executive calls a “definitive answer”: James Blaesing was the Hardings’ second cousin, meaning his mother must have been the president’s child.

“It’s sort of Shakespearean and operatic,” says Peter Harding. “This story hangs over the whole presidential history because it was an unsolved mystery.” But not all of Harding’s descendants are convinced by the new evidence. A grandnephew tells the Times “it’s still in my mind still to be proven”; Peter Harding notes his own father maintained the relationship was a lie as family members believed President Harding was sterile. James Blaesing, who notes people broke into his home as child looking for evidence to disprove the affair rumor, says the DNA tests finally verify his grandmother’s claims. “I wanted to prove who she was and prove everyone wrong,” he says, adding, “She loved (Harding) until the day she died.” Writing at the Washington Post, researcher James Robenalt says Harding’s reputation as a womanizer sadly overpowers his accomplishments as president, including overseeing the first arms limitation treaty. (Click for more on Harding’s many other mistresses.)

See Bubba Clinton was not an original….but Harding was a Republican I guess that is something……huh?

And now you know the rest of the story……AIN’T HISTORY GRAND?

That my friends ends another day of posting and ranting…..sleep well….study hard…..I will return!

Class Dismissed!

How To Cure Jolly Floggin’

Yep, the weekend and time for some silly stuff…….what is life without a little humor?

First, something I thought about while researching the other day…….For the life of me I cannot see the point of a circle! Think about it.

Now…………… Sriracha? I am sick of this crap! Just as I was sick of the crap it replaced….Buffalo Sauce……you want hot then man up and eat Harissa……that should have you begging for ice cream…..

Now to the grits and the gravy of day’s post……..it is a bit personal….I do not usually do personal….but what the hell we are all friends, right?……

I recall when I discovered what to do with the horribly big erection in the morning…….all I had to do was get a hold of myself and……Flog my Jolly!

Then it became almost mandatory to do so……surely there was a cure for that compulsion……VIOLA! There was and you will not believe what it was…….

Kellogg’s Corn Flakes sure are tasty, crunchy, and a great cure for masturbation. Sorry, the last bit’s not true—but it’s partly why John Harvey Kellogg and his brother invented the cereal back in 1878, Real Clear Science reports. An outspoken surgeon, writer, and medical chief at Battle Creek Sanitarium in Michigan, Kellogg abstained from sex and warned against the alleged dangers of masturbation. Such dangers included insanity, impotence, epilepsy, acne, poor posture, and blindness, in Kellogg’s view. Among his tips: Avoid all “exciting and irritating food,” wrote the Seventh Day Adventist. “A man that lives on pork, fine-flour bread, rich pies and cakes, and condiments, drinks tea and coffee and uses tobacco, might as well try to fly as to be chaste in thought.”

He also invented a few grain breakfast cereals “as healthy, ready-to-eat anti-masturbatory morning meals,” reports Mental Floss. Brother Will, who managed the sanitarium’s books, helped him invent corn flakes but wanted sugar on them to help them sell—an addition John refused to accept. Meanwhile, John suggested more severe anti-masturbatory practices, like running a wire through boys’ foreskins to curb erections and burning the clitoris with carbolic acid to keep girls’ fingers away. Today we know the health benefits of self-love, like reduced depression, lowered prostate-cancer risk, and a better immune system, the Conversation notes.

There you have it…..the next time you get the urge to flog your jolly just pour yourself a bowl of corn flakes and relax……..the urge will dissipate……

AHHHHHH………….I feel better already!

How About Sex On The Beach?

Have you ever fantasized about having sex on a beach? If so then maybe you should reconsider it………

A Florida jury on Monday convicted Jose Caballero, 40, and Elissa Alvarez, 20, on charges that they had sex on Bradenton Beach in broad daylight. They face up to 15 years behind bars and will have to register as sex offenders.

Each of them faced two charges of lewd and lascivious behavior, carrying a maximum penalty of 15 years in prison, the Bradenton Herald reported.

OKay I have a problem with this…….maybe they should have been a bit more discreet….but 15 years and a sex offender? That should put the limber in his joint.

Witnesses watched them have sex……did they think about turning away? The kids that may have seen the act…….most were under the age of five……bet not one of them had any idea what was happening until the parents went ape shit…….

The sex offender thing is what I question most. It is like a good that wakes up from a hard drunk and has to pee so he goes to the nearest tree to do his business….the problem is the tree is located just outside a school yard…..should he be labeled a sex offender?

I say no…..because he did not set out to involve children in the act of peeing…..he did not do it intentionally because it was a school. Why ruin this man;s life for being a boneheaded drunk?

The same with these two……I bet they did not pick the place to have sex because there were children there….it was probably a spur of the moment thing…….

This crack down on sex offenders is a good thing to protect children but at the same time they can ruin people’s lives that had NO intention of involving kids in what they were doing….they just had a brain fart..

I say if we want to crackdown on stupid activity then maybe the best place to start would be with our politicians……then move on from there……

Any thoughts?

But wait! There’s more!

Does having lots of sex make you happy? Wrong!

You’ve heard the message, seen the magazine covers: Having more sex will make you happier. A new study out of Carnegie Mellon University, however, suggests that the opposite is true, according to a post at Phys.org. In their experiment, researchers asked one group of married couples to have twice as much weekly sex as usual over a three-month period, and they gave no instructions to a second group. All the couples filled out surveys along the way, and, as Bustle notes, “this is where things get weird.” Those who had double the amount of sex reported lower levels of sexual enjoyment and happiness at the end of the experiment than they did at the beginning.

The lead researcher is the first to acknowledge that the reason might be because the couples were instructed to have more sex as part of a research experiment, not the most thrilling of circumstances. He elaborates, with some oddly specific advice: “If we ran the study again, and could afford to do it, we would try to encourage subjects into initiating more sex in ways that put them in a sexy frame of mind, perhaps with baby-sitting, hotel rooms, or Egyptian sheets, rather than directing them to do so.” Another researcher adds that couples should be less focused on numbers and more on creating the right environment when they do have sex. Or as Wired sums up: “The moral of the story, folks, is that it’s all about quality over quantity.” (Another study finds that millennials will have fewer sexual partners than their parents.)

May I see a show of hands of the people that believe this?

I will do my own research, thank you……..and to the researchers……BITE ME!

If I Must Have A Funeral

There is one glaring reality….no one gets out of life alive. Yep, believe it or not we all must die.

When we do we will have some sort of service or a memorial or whatever you would like to call it when family and friends get together and remember your life……..Cjhina has a way to go out that I had not thought about……a stripper!

Chinese officials are launching a campaign in some rural areas to crack down on stripteases and other lewd shows that have become popular at … funerals. The Ministry of Culture said yesterday that it will tighten control over rural culture, where vulgar performances have been thriving because of a general lack of cultural events. Such erotic performances at funerals are a relatively new phenomenon. Many rural people believe that a large attendance at funerals is a sign of honor for the deceased, and the shows are used to attract more people and display the family’s prosperity. The funerals also are a rare occasion for crowds to gather as villagers working as migrant workers in industrial centers return home to bury the deceased.

Performances of traditional opera were once popular at funerals, followed later by movie screenings. In the last several months, people who have returned to their rural homes for funerals have complained on social media about lewd shows, remarking that troupes hired to play dirges suddenly changed their tune and began to peel off their clothes, even with children in attendance. The ministry cited a performance by six strippers at a funeral in the northern province of Hebei and a lewd show by three performers at a funeral in the eastern province of Jiangsu. Those responsible for vulgar acts will be punished, it said. “Such illegal operations have disrupted local entertainment markets and corrupted social mores,” the ministry said.

There is an idea to consider……..if I must go then let it be with a stripper!

Enjoy your weekend!

Make Way For The Morality Police

We all have seen the reports out of the Middle East about the “morality police”…..those little pricks that prance around deciding if what you do is moral or not…..

They are scoffed, laughed at and totally looked down upon…..but there is not a issue solely in the Middle East that is mocked more….the very thought of a “Morality Police”…….an absurd reality, right?

If some of the religious d/bags have their way then we could see a “morality police” in this country……think not?

Welcome to the America of the Religious Right!

Read on!

Morality Police.

Democrat: Leather And Lace

Another Democrat bites the dust!

Remember a couple of years ago when the media and the rest of us were having fun at the expense of Anthony Weiner…..Weirner’s weenie-gate?

It seems the young lady that Anthony was texting and sexting…..the young lady that brought down a vocal opponent in the Congress…..she has struck again……

A porn star who’s no stranger to political scandals has been thrown back in the spotlight, this time for sexting with an Indiana state lawmaker. Sydney Leathers, who made headlines in the Anthony Weiner sexting brouhaha, tells Fox News she exchanged sexually explicit picture and text messages with Rep. Justin Moed, a Democrat who went by the pseudonym “Bitch Boy.” Leathers told Page Six last week that a politician replied to her ad seeking someone she could “financially dominate” but didn’t share his true identity. However, his name was accidentally included in packages of shoes and lingerie he sent to her, Leathers says. “I Googled him and found out he’s a lawmaker.” She now confirms the politician is Moed, who’s engaged.

“I am truly sorry I have hurt the ones I love most with my poor judgment. I am committed to rebuilding trust with my family and my community,” Moed says in a statement, per the Indianapolis Star. “I apologize to my constituents and to everyone I have let down.” Moed, who was planning to be wed in September, also sent Leathers money through PayPal and a “Fetish Fantasy Series Pink Leash & Collar,” according to photos obtained by TheDirty.com. Others show a man’s naked behind. Leathers says she never met Moed but his messages showed he was “into some really freaky stuff.” In one message, Moed reportedly said, “I am your property to do with as you wish.” Leathers says Moed was “displaying poor judgment by sexting me of all people,” but politicians “are human, after all.”

Yet another Democrat caught with his pants down…….(Ironic, yes?)………Now with her latest victim taking it in the butt…….maybe it is time to ask the question………who’s payroll is she on?

Seems she may be targeting Democrats……if so that would make her a valuable asset for some of the more extreme PACs…..or possibly the more extreme media outlets also……I mean those institutions are NOT above sleazy tactics to make their point….and this skank seems to rank right up there.

Thoughts?

No, no, no! Victorians didn’t invent the vibrator | Fern Riddell | Comment is free | The Guardian

So begins the weekend and what better way to enter the days of relaxation than to write about everyone’s fave subject…..SEX!

Since the release of the soft porn movie, 50 shades of grey, there has been a run on…..how shall I say this……sex toys.

A little reminder…….

Of course there were going to be product tie-ins to the Fifty Shades of Grey movie premiering Valentine’s weekend—and of course those products were going to veer into adults-only territory, considering the steaminess of EL James’ book trilogy on which the film is based. But the sex-toy industry is really banking on the movie to drive sales, which in turn is spurring retailers to order plenty of inventory and redesign current products to fit the Fifty Shades theme, the New York Times reports. “I would say that every single person has jumped on the bandwagon in terms of making toys around Fifty Shades,” says Sara Ramirez, a publisher at porn trade publication XBIZ. Even mainstream retailers like Target are on board, though one Oklahoma consumer complained that Fifty Shades merchandise was being sold next to kids’ dental care products, Consumerist reports. The sale of blindfolds, whips, and other fetish-inspired items is already big business: A conservative estimate by IBISWorld puts 2013 sales of sex toys in the US at $613 million (Ramirez estimates it’s really between $1 billion and $2 billion). Experts cited by the Times note that erotic products sold like nuts after Fifty Shades came out as an e-book in 2011; IBISWorld says the debut prompted a 7.5% jump in sex toys, books, and videos in 2013. But while some companies have boosted supply orders, others are preparing more cautiously, saying they don’t want to be stuck with extra vibrators and feather-adorned handcuffs—or oversell sexual nirvana to their customers. “Using Kegel balls is not too much fun, it’s actually hard work to do it right,” the CEO of a sex-toy manufacturer tells the Times.

That is good for the sex toy industry……and that brings up the question…..where did sex toys originate?

No, no, no! Victorians didn’t invent the vibrator | Fern Riddell | Comment is free | The Guardian.

The Fascination With Sex

I am beginning to think that the GOP can only talk about sex when they are trying to define it for the rest of us…….like what Florida is trying to do……

What does “sexual intercourse” mean in Florida? The state’s Supreme Court justices are pondering the question in a case that threatens to weaken a 1986 law requiring HIV-positive people to reveal their infection before having “sexual intercourse.” A defense lawyer told the court yesterday that Florida’s laws have always used the term to describe traditional sex between a man and a woman, and not any other sexual activity by either gender. The case involves a man charged with a felony after failing to tell his male sex partner he was HIV-positive. The record shows that Gary Debaun’s partner asked him to take an HIV test, and that Debaun, who knew that he was infected, gave him fake test results showing he was free of the virus that causes AIDS.

“In the history of Florida law, the specific term ‘sexual intercourse’ has always been interpreted to mean reproductive sexual conduct,” said Debaun’s public defender, who’s trying to get the charge dropped. “It’s not the way that I’d want to define it, maybe—maybe not the way you’d want to define it—but that’s the way it’s always been in Florida law.” Most states legally require people with HIV to disclose the infection to sex partners, but the public defender told the justices that other states’ laws use the term “sexual activity” or specifically spell out sexual acts, rather than use Florida’s narrow language. Assistant Attorney General Jeffrey Geldens argued that it was clear that the statute was enacted with the intent to protect people who engaged in any kind of sexual activity.

This from the party that thinks the government has no business telling people what to do….as long it is what they, the GOP, believe…..

But hold on! Utah had to be part of the conversation……..

A Utah bill stating that unconscious people cannot consent to sex proved to be more controversial than expected when it came before a legislative committee earlier this week. Rep. Brian Greene wondered if it meant that somebody who had sex with an unconscious spouse could be charged with rape, saying a rape charge “makes sense in a first date scenario, but to me, not where people have a history of years of sexual activity,” the Salt Lake Tribune reports. After at least one other Republican voiced similar concerns, an attorney from the Utah Prosecution Council explained that under the bill, “consent is a decision that has to be made at the time of the act” and you “cannot give consent to sexual activity if you’re unconscious.”

Sex with an unconscious person “is rape. Period. End of story,” Democratic Rep. Brian King told the committee, according to the Tribune. Greene ended up voting for the bill and apologized for his comments yesterday, saying he abhors “sexual assault under any circumstances, including within marriage.” The director of the Rape Recovery Center tells USA Today she hadn’t expected a debate and was shocked by Greene’s comments. “He’s a lawyer, you think he would know better,” she says. “But with the kind of work we do, we realize that so many people don’t understand this issue.” The bill was introduced after a 2013 case where a man claimed he had sex with an unconscious neighbor on her porch to keep her warm and “save her life,” Politico reports.

See…..the GOP is a prudish bunch of sex addicts……..I know that sounds like an oxymoron……but the GOP still thinks it has a right to intervene in the bedroom……..