As usual it is the weekend and I let my mind wander to places that it would like to visit…..today the title is Not about the blockbuster film of the 30’s….but rather something completely different, to quote Monty Python…..
I had been thinking of what our troops were doing in their war zone spare time……I mean there are not many bars to hang in, or girl watching is pretty much out of the question………..so what is left? listen to music, or TV or one of those endless card games that seem to go on for weeks or months……what are some of the other forms of “recreation”?
Okay, let us step into the “way back machine” and go to the days when I was in the Army in Vietnam….I know…I am ancient.
There were times when we had a lot of dead time on our hands….long stretches of pure boredom….so what did we do? Play a little football, music, radio and those endless poker games….and there was another form of recreation that is not talked about too much. (pause here for thought)……..The body function known as flatulence….that is right….we turned the art of farting into a sport! Once we got beyond the “poll my finger” thing and the “silent but deadly” attack…… There was the Divine Wind…..where points were given for categories like duration, audio and odor and then there was Blast-Off, this one was where a person would assume a position and have a partner hold a Zippo up and the fart would be lit……grading was two fold…..color and duration……..,and the winners of the different categories had to eat everyone’s mystery meat sandwiches for the night.
I realize that some may find this a bit disgusting but think about it….what else would you expect from bored 20 year olds? With that out of the way….I will, bet that you are asking just where the Hell am I going with this post? Right?
Well, to be honest when I was surfing the other day I found a report that was a bit disturbing to me…..it was on the Newser website……..
US military leaders, sensitive to winning hearts and minds in Afghanistan, have instituted several unloved regulations on troops there—no swearing, no talking about volatile subjects like politics or girls. But now leaders apparently want to win ears and noses, too, as they have introduced an unusual no-no—no farting, according to the Military Times. In particular, the rule is no audible farts for downrange marines. “But farting? That’s practically a sport,” writes Gina Cavallaro. “OK, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes, and other gallows humor.” Or perhaps the top brass is just overly sensitive to criticism that the US forces in Afghanistan could cut-and-run…
A ban on audible farting? Come on! The guys and gals in Afghanistan cannot hang out in bars or go girl watching….let us be real here…there are only so many hours that you want to pass a football or play cards….now with the farting thing gone….If you had been in a war zone then you will know that there are times of prolonged boredom and a 20 yr old will find ways to fight that boredom…….what will they do now to avoid the boredom?
Good luck on upholding that ban.
As for entertainment in Vietnam, we once collected one of the huge deadly black centipedes found there and put it in an ammo box with a tarantula to see who would best the other.
Clear cellophane covered the top so they would not escape and punish us for what he had done to them. After a few boring moments of watching them watch each other someone rattled the ammo box and before you could say “may the best critter win”, the centipede’s deadly sting had taken the prize.
Seems cruel and heartless now, even though they weren’t cute cuddly animals. But we were young, frightened most of the time and bored the rest of the time.
I fart in Afghanistan’s general direction. I was in the Calif National Guard form 69 to 1975; did basic and AIT at Fort Ord. Never got to Nam, but that’s why ya joined the ‘guard’, just like W did. Loads of fun it was 🙁
Hansi…….I went to some training at Ord….take away the farting games and what do the troops have left?…..LOL