From the VOMITORIUM
Yep, last day of Zen before I return to shoveling fecal matter (politics)….and today I want to touch on a subject that I know a little about….FOOD!
In my younger years I had a small cafe and worked later as a chef in a Mexican restaurant…..I am not classically trained but rather self taught….and even if I do sound a bit egotistical….I am damn good cook…..yep, I’m a foodie…I watch the Food Network, when politics and news get to be too much to handle….and over the years I have had a few bitches about the crap they push on these shows…..
One–Fusion food….less food more money….and food is suppose to be cooked the way it was originally meant to be…there is NO Cajun chicken tandoori…..or curried quesadillas and definitely no jalapeno-blueberry vinaigrette and then there is BBQ……anybody can be a BBQ chef…….if you screw up just pour some sauce on it and send along…..all this is the invention of cooks that cannot cook classically and need multiple favors to hide how bad their cooking really is…..I had rather be known as a “GOOD” cook than good chef……
Two–I do not want to see a tower of food……you are a cook not an architect…if you want to be artistic…then go to art school and leave cooking to those that actually know how it is done…..there is NOTHING appetizing about a tower of mushrooms that is on the verge of collapse…….
Three–stop the CON JOB….”we eat with our eyes first”…that is bullshit! If we did eat with our eyes first then NO one would eat a dish that looks like puke in a pot….gumbo or something that looks like the spew in the Exorcist…..stop conning people with cute little slogans, they are almost as bad as the ones politicians use…
Four–stop trying to insist that food needs massive amounts of seasoning….that is for Middle East food and jerk….they are the only ones that can pull it off….the rest then you are just f*cking up perfect good ingredients……
Five–stop putting your trust in idiots that wear the shades on the backs of their head or the ones that say you can cook a classic meal in 30 minutes or less…..one cannot make a dish like Coq au vin in 30 minutes or a lamb tagine…..cook them properly or stay out of the kitchen!
I know, I am being a bit harsh and critical…but some of these TV chefs act like they have a cure for leprosy…….. food is a necessity and it should be enjoyed prepared the way it was intended…to take short cuts just pisses up good food…..if you cannot do it right or do not have the time….then go to KFC and stop pretending.
Just remember….those who cannot cook well become TV chefs…….food for thought!
Now that I have that off my chest…..please return to your holiday festivities and enjoy……
Sure, easy for you to say. Get me all agitated then say “please return to your holiday festivities and enjoy”. 🙂
That’s my job….stir the pot….then split…..LOL
You made me remember that I skipped breakfast this morning. 😛 No one wants to eat anything I cook because I’m on a restrictive macrobiotic diet. It’s either rice, miso soup, organic vegetables and fruits, whole grains, or white fish every day of the week. You can’t really screw any of that up. But I try…..
Angie…..bless you heart…I could not do it……Have a good 4th….
I go to the Food network too, when MSNBC get too depressing. Hoping for some light non controversial fair, I find Food Nazis and a charming southern woman who’s cholesterol laden food would kill ya within minutes.
Hi Hansi…..sounds a lot like my routine……thew woman you speak of once made bread pudding with Krispy Kreme do nuts……and I heard her arteries slam shut!
I’ll give you number 5 – everything else, yes there are some bad chefs pretending to be celebrities, but on the whole, I disagree completely, so I’ll shut up. 🙂
Have a good 4th (though why you would want to celebrate swapping one set of assholes for another, I’m not sure) 😆
Morning Quin…..okay….have a great day, my friend…..
PS: Seasoning, cholesterol, dairy products, chocolate, shell fish, red wine, white wine, yada, yada, yada, are ALL GOOD FOR YOU (so many medics now say – like I took any notice of them in the first place!) – that’s always providing you’re not a greedy bastard and simply eat far too much (of ANYTHING). Have another cigarette, another brandy and another blonde and stop worrying, I say 😆
Oh I agree with that completely…just get pissed when people try to tart up perfectly good food when prepared properly…..
But the experience of receiving food and one’s enjoyment of it can be enhanced enormously by the quality and artistry of the presentation – just like sex, really… 😉
Oh crap! I disagree….artistry for me has little to do with it….it is all about taste….and that goes for the sex stuff too….LOL Anyone can splash some colored oil on a plate or build a tower of mushrooms….but without taste it is nothing more than a gimmick….
Ah well, that’s where we really DO disagree. Sex is all about the whole experience and a rich imagination takes that experience to a whole other level. So it is (in very slightly different ways) with food too. Eating to fill the stomach is boring and simply an annoying need – like sex to relieve an urge. Sex or food without artistry may taste delicious, but it’s still just… well… sex or food, I suppose – but with imagination it’s a whole different experience entirely for both male and female alike.
We agree that both sex and food are good things…that is a major break through…….just as a see through teddy does not guarantee good sex neither does splashes of colored oil or some leaning tower of pizza…..for me it is all about the quality of the the food not the window dressing…….and sex too…..
Of course only one half the equation is not enough, but nor is the other half either – so why not BOTH halves of the deal to make it something special? Mediocrity in anything never interested me – EVER… 😆