Tag: Humor

God, I Love Stupid!

We hear daily of stupid things that people do……..and it is especially humorous when it bites them in the butt…..

(Newser) – Put this on your “don’t-do” list: A Texas woman set a snake on fire in her backyard—and then watched as her house burned to the ground, Yahoo! News reports. “While cleaning up, she saw a snake, threw gasoline on the snake, lit the snake on fire,” said a Bowie County sheriff’s deputy. “The snake went into the brush pile, and the brush pile caught the home on fire.”

The deputy described her recently purchased brick house as a loss, and said the house next door—which she also owns—was 20% damaged, reports CNN. A local fire official said such incidents aren’t as rare as you might imagine: “Yes, it could happen with rabbits and big field mice,” he told Yahoo. “They have been known to catch fire and then take off.” Just why did this woman take such drastic measures? “She just didn’t like snakes, I guess,” he said.

Some days it is just worth reading the news…….

Puke It Up!

Have you heard the old rock n roll yell…..”Party to you puke”?

This guy and his dog will party because of the puke………

Newser) – One British man is poised to become $68,000 richer thanks to his dog’s interest in stinky garbage—which, in this case, turned out to be a soccer ball-sized lump of whale vomit, reports the AP. Ken Wilman was walking his dog Madge along a beach in northern England when the canine started sniffing what Wilman thought was a rock. But when a piece broke off, he realized it was something else, and when he got home he did a bit of Googling.

Wilman soon realized his dog had actually discovered ambergris, the waxy and not-so-fragrant byproduct of sperm whale digestion. Used in perfumes, spices, and medicines, ambergris commands big bucks, so Wilman returned to the beach and took it home; he has since been offered $68,000 for it. His advice? “If your dog pays an interest in something, you pay an interest in something,” he says. “Because you never know.” (This actually isn’t the first tale of whale vomit wealth we’ve covered…)

It is a shame that human’s vomit was not used…..for a couple of bottles of tequila and you would be a millionaire!

A Twist On Smuggling

You have heard all the stories about people that smuggle stuff by swallowing it…..and then there are those that shove stuff up their butts……there is a woman in Spain that has my vote for best smuggling technique………

MADRID (Reuters) – Spanish police arrested a Panamanian woman on Wednesday who landed in Barcelona from Bogota, Colombia with cocaine stuffed inside her breast implants.

The woman was taken to the police at Barcelona’s El Prat airport after her vague answers to questions about the reasons for her trip from Bogota raised suspicion at the border control, the Interior Ministry said in a statement.

Spanish authorities carry out rigorous checks of passengers arriving on so-called “hot flights” from Latin America, to fight drug smuggling.

When border police discovered fresh scars and blood-stained gauze on the woman’s chest she was taken to a nearby hospital to check her claim that she had recently undergone breast implant surgery.

The implants were found to carry 1.38 kg of cocaine.

Breast implants stuffed with cocaine are seen in this handout picture released by Spain's Police December 12, 2012. REUTERS/Spanish Interior Ministry/Handout

Who Knew?

This is the calm weekend, at least for me, time when I reflect on the past weeks …….HA HA HA…..time for some news and such…..enough with the political morons…..give us…..BOOBS!

(Newser) – Critics of breast implants like to cite possible side effects, but now advocates can mention their life-saving potential: A woman in Canada says hers protected her in a shooting. “My implants took the brunt of the force,” Eileen Likness testified at the trial of an ex-boyfriend accused of shooting her, reports the Toronto Sun. The bullet traveled through one and out the other before hitting her forearm. Now she’s all healed—with new implants. “I had to wait some time, but yes, I had some put back in,” she says. Her ex-beau’s trial continues.

See now you know why it is entitled….”Who Knew”?

Humor Is Where You Find It

There is not much in politics that is humorous, mostly just pathetic….but from time to time I run across something that makes me smile….I could write a little about the Rickets Plan or some other equally deemed important by the media….but I just cannot resist this story….

Recently the socialists won the French election and that should send the right into more about the European socialist thing……..but all seriousness aside….this is just damn funny!

CNN is reporting……

France’s new Socialist government is already causing ripples throughout a Europe struggling to balance government budgets without making ordinary people’s lives miserable, but it has created a completely different problem in the Middle East.

The prime minister’s last name, it turns out, sounds like an Arabic slang word for penis.

His name is Jean-Marc Ayrault.

Pronounced properly in French, the last name is very much like a moderately rude Lebanese and Palestinian term that is widely understood in the Arabic world.

The French Foreign Ministry said it was aware of the issue but had no comment. The office of the French president, sounding amused, referred CNN questions to the prime minister’s office, which had no comment.

The story echoes reports that two years ago, Pakistan wanted to appoint an ambassador to Saudi Arabia whose name sounds like an even more offensive word for penis in Arabic.

But Pakistani diplomat Akbar Zeb denied the story, telling the Globe and Mail in Canada, where he is posted, that there had never been a plan to send him to Riyadh.

I am sorry but this is just what I needed today……some of my friends have always had the opinion that the French were a bunch of pr*cks…….and now this!

What Are They Saying About Pet Food?

It is the weekend and as usual I have tried to find something that is interesting but not a political thing….the mind needs a rest….

My local TV station, WLOX, had this headline on their website…..

Pet food recalled after 14 people get sick

That headline opens up a whole new train of thought……are times so tough that people are eating pet food?  I know people will eat the damnedest things but…..pet food?

Okay all the humor aside…..I guess the best way to answer all my questions is to read the rest of the article…….

(CNN) – There’s a nationwide dog food recall this morning – after 14 people got sick with salmonella.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said it’s investigating the salmonella outbreak that may be related to products from Diamond Pet Foods.

CDC officials said the affected dog food was manufactured at a facility in South Carolina, but the illness has been detected in nine states.

Investigators said it’s possible the people got sick after contact with dogs that ate the food.

The recall affects several brands of food manufactured by Diamond Pet Foods and consumers can visit diamondpetrecall.com for a complete list.

I still think a better headline could have been chosen….but I guess if the idea is to grab the attention of the reader…..this one did it’s job.