This Is Why Soccer Rules!

I have been a soccer fan, futbol to the rest of the world, for a long time and there is a perfectly good reason why.

You will never see stuff like this with Baseball or Basketball or American football.  In American football we get guys with painted faces and large wedges of cheese of their heads or we get fat guys with no shirts and bodies painted the team colors….all in all too damn boring.  We NEVER get stuff like this:

A porn star from the Netherlands named Bobbi Eden has promised oral sex for all of her Twitter followers if the Netherlands win the World Cup. Fun!

Eden’s number of followers has gone from just over 4,000 on Tuesday when she first made her courageous promise, to 66,163 as of right now.

Or stuff like this……

Remember Paraguayan model Larissa Riquelme, and her courageous promise of naked street-running should her countrymen reach the World Cup Final? Well, they didn’t quite make it that far, but she still got quite nude.

Yes, still eager to thank her team for all of their hard work and dedication following their loss to Spain, Riquelme didn’t really run anywhere naked – she just stood still and allowed a professional photographer take pictures of her naked.

Here are the (NSFW) photos, courtesy of the Daily Mail. Should you try to go to the website that is watermarked on these bad boys, you will be faced with a whole lot of load time – apparently they’ve seen a small surge in traffic since publishing said photos.

[Larissa Riquelme sports best strip of the tournament] Daily Mail

This is why soccer RULES!  I had much rather see these two than some drunk fat guy without his shirt….but then I am a bit more rational than most American sports fans….

Americans could learn a thing or two from our international brothers and sisters….Go Espana!

Now Here Is An Idea!

Bobbi Eden

A porn star from the Netherlands named Bobbi Eden has promised oral sex for all of her Twitter followers if the Netherlands win the World Cup. Fun!

Eden’s number of followers has gone from just over 4,000 on Tuesday when she first made her courageous promise, to 66,163 as of right now.

Yes Irene there is a GOD!

It Is Just NOT Fair!

Daily Agitator

From time to time, I tire of making myself sick following politics and the current affairs…..and from time to time I enjoy writing a little humor….and this is one of those times.

You have heard of “cougar hunting”…..NO?  That is when young males, 20 somethings, go out on the town trolling for older women to bag.  It has become a popular past time, to the point of TV series, Reality shows and TV ads….as a matter of fact it was a TV ad that got me a bit cheesed.  It is for a tequila, where two twenty somethings are standing around talking and one is telling his friend about the “cougar” he bagged last nite.  As he talks he is dialing her phone to invite her to lunch.  Next a cel on the counter is ringing and one guy yells, “Mom your phone is ringing” ……

This got me to thinking…..why do older women get all the fun?  I mean it is a sexual game played by adults, or those close to adulthood……when are the old fart guys gonna become the new “Cougar hunting craze”?  As it is now, the twenty-something females see us as “dinosaurs” or “fossils”….when are the little hard bodies gonna get on the bandwagon and make us the focus of their sexual desire?

Is it too much to ask for a little equality here?  I mean we DO have a magic pill, if necessary…..

It is just NOT fair!

More Sex Studies (Go Figure)

From time to time I bitch about the endless studies that we hear about almost daily…….some are good (I guess) and others seem like a waste of time and money….below are two more to add to the endless array of studies….but if you can get grant cash for a study, then SEX would be the ideal study….

The sexually transmitted disease gonorrhea risks becoming a drug-resistant “superbug” if doctors do not devise new ways of treating it, a leading sexual health expert said.

Gonorrhea is a common bacterial sexually-transmitted infection and if left untreated can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, ectopic pregnancy and infertility in women.

Globally, the WHO estimates that there are at least 340 million new cases of curable sexually transmitted infections — including syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and trichomoniasis — every year among people aged 15 to 49.

Ison said the highest incidences of gonorrhea were in south and southeast Asia and sub-Saharan Africa, but as yet the WHO has no breakdown by individual infection type.

Current treatment for gonorrhea in most countries consists of a single antibiotic dose of either cefixime or ceftriaxone.

So gentlemen, keep an eye on the prize……a sick wnkie has NO chance to reward….

Could there possibly more?  You bet your scrotum there is……

The number of head and neck cancers linked to a virus spread by oral sex is rising rapidly and suggests boys as well as girls should be offered protection through vaccination, doctors said Friday.

Despite an overall slight decline in head and neck cancers in recent years, cases of a particular form called oropharyngeal squamous cell carcinoma (OSCC) have increased sharply, particularly in the developed world.

This growth seems to be linked to cancers caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV), scientists said in a report in the British Medical Journal.

More than 500,000 cases of cervical cancer are diagnosed annually in women and it kills around 200,000 a year. Head and neck cancer is the sixth most common cancer among men and women, with about 640,000 new cases each year worldwide.

A recent study found the risk of developing oropharyngeal carcinoma was linked to a history of six or more lifetime sexual partners, four or more lifetime oral sex partners, and, for men, an earlier age at first sexual intercourse.

“Sexual transmission of HPV — primarily through orogenital intercourse — might be the reason for the increase in incidence of HPV related oropharyngeal carcinoma,” wrote Mehanna.

Thanx to Reuters for the above articles……

These types of studies just suck all the fun out of SEX (pun intended)……

Which Breast Was It?

There comes a time, now and again, where I must cast aside my principle of not posting gossip…..there comes a time when I see a report that just begs me to comment……and I finally could not stand it anymore…..

This from the “Fair and Balanced” Network:

A Kentucky woman was charged with assault after she allegedly squirted breast milk into the face of a deputy.

Toni Tramel, 31, was arrested Thursday for public intoxication in Owensboro, WYMT-TV reported, but it is what she did next which has attracted headlines.

As Tramel changed into an inmate uniform, she squirted a stream of breast milk into the face of the female deputy watching over her.

A press release from the Daviess County, Kentucky, Detention Center, said that after the deputy decontaminated herself from the “bio-hazard”, Tramel was charged with third degree assault.

While the public drunkenness was merely a misdemeanor offense, the assault is a felony charge and a US$10,000 bond was set.

Reports of the case have sparked debates about whether using breast milk as a weapon should constitute a felony assault case, with many readers likening it to an accused person spitting on an officer.

All I can ask is….was it the right or the left?  I am sorry I was so caught up in the moment that I am left speechless….

But if you liked that one…..then you will cream your pants over this one……we have all seen those guys shaving while driving to work, but there is even more to that concept…..

A two-car crash on a Florida highway was caused by a 37-year-old woman who was shaving her bikini area while in the driver’s seat, according to the Florida Highway Patrol. Her ex-husband was steering from the passenger seat.

Megan Mariah Barnes and her ex-husband Charles Judy were driving southbound Tuesday morning when they slammed into the back of a pick-up driven by David Schoff after he slowed to take a turn, CBS station WFOR-TV reports.

Barnes said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be “ready for the visit,” trooper Gary Dunick explained.

It is really hard to make this sh*t up….but why?  People are just stupid enough to keep us all busy…..I have been told that a person needs to be well-groomed….the this is taking it a bit to far……

Have you read enough…think again….YES!  There is more!

Titty Cheese!

Daniel Angerer is used to getting attention for the food served at his restaurant, Klee Brasserie — but the New York chef is making more headlines than ever over a new dish that has its source in his fiancee’s brassiere.

In Angerer’s case, that mother is his longtime fiancee, Lori Mason, who was producing more milk than she knew what to do with while nursing their now 10-week-old daughter, Arabella.

“Mommy’s Milk Cheese” is exactly what it sounds like: cheese made from the breast milk of a nursing mother.

Okay, I just have to say something……..!

When I tried to make my own cheese all the recipes called of at least a gallon or more of milk…..Now, just how much milk does she produce and how damn big are those boobs?

PETA once suggested that Ben & Jerry should use breast milk to make their ice cream….so this story should have the PETA lunatics jerking off in the corner…..

NO! I Am Not Kidding!

From time to time the news, well political news, just flipping boring and then there comes something that I just cannot resist…..

First…I will start with a joke……”How do nuns have sex?”……pause for thought……”they dress up like alter boys”…….

I know…I know…it was disgusting, tasteless, insensitive….but you gotts admit …damn funny!

Why would I tell a tasteless joke?  Well, it seems that with all the bad press that the Catholic Church has gotten in the past couple of years….you would think that they could get a handle on the sex scandals…huh?

Reuters is reporting:

One of Pope Benedict’s ceremonial ushers and a member of an elite choir in St Peter’s Basilica have been implicated in a gay prostitution ring, in the latest sexual scandal to taint the Vatican.Ghinedu Ehiem, a Nigerian, was dismissed by the Vatican on Wednesday from the Giulia Choir after his name appeared in transcripts of police wiretaps, published by an Italian newspaper, in an unrelated Italian investigation.

Among four people arrested last month in the corruption probe was Angelo Balducci, a engineer who is a board member of Italy’s public works department and a construction consultant to the Vatican. Balducci was arrested on corruption charges and the allegatons of prostitution emerged only later.

Balducci is also a member of an elite group called “Gentlemen of His Holiness”, ushers who are called to serve in the Vatican’s Apostolic Palace on major occasions such as when the pope receives heads of state or presides at big events.

“Gentlemen of His Holiness””carried the coffin of the late Pope John Paul at his funeral in 2005.

A police document prepared for magistrates and published in part by La Repubblica said Balducci was in contact with Ehiem and an Italian who were part of what the police called “an organised network … to abet male prostitution”.

Apart from being a “Gentleman of His Holiness”, Balducci is listed in the Vatican’s directory as a consultant to a Vatican department that deals with missions and had close contacts with the Vatican during planning for events for the year 2000, when millions of pilgrims came to Rome for a special Holy Year.

Yeah…I bet it has “special”……

SIDE NOTE: It is official!  The dinosaurs were killed by a meteor striking the earth…..okay..I missed something…I thought that was already settled….I guess I was mistaken….

Guys? Keep Your Johnson In A Safe Place

From time to time there comes to my attention a story that should scare the living Hell out of all those people that frequent the “meat markets” in search of the love of a lifetime….this is just such a story……and Damn!  I am so please to be a old guy and not have to worry about this type of stuff….

As many as one in four U.S. teenage girls have had a sexually transmitted disease (STD), many infected soon after their first sexual encounter, a new government report shows.”The high burden of STDs among teen girls reminds us that we can’t ignore this,” said study author Dr. Sami L. Gottlieb, from the division of sexually transmitted disease prevention at the U.S. Centers for Disease and Prevention.

For the study, Gottlieb’s team collected data on 838 teen girls aged 14 to 19. Using samples provided by the teens, the researchers looked for Neisseria gonorrhoeae, Chlamydia trachomatis, Trichomonas vaginalis, herpes simplex virus type 2 and human papillomavirus (HPV).

The study authors found that 24.1 percent of the girls had one of these STDs and among girls who were sexually experienced, 37.7 percent had an STD. HPV was the most common infection (18.3 percent), followed by chlamydia (3.9 percent).

Moreover, in the year after having their first sexual experience and with only one sex partner, 19.2 percent of the teens developed an STD, Gottlieb’s group found.

To counter these problems, teens need to have early sex education, Gottlieb noted. “The vast majority of people have sex for the first time during their teenage years, so we need them to be prepared,” she said.

This study also makes a strong case for routine vaccination against HPV, as it is the most common sexually transmitted infection, Katz said. “Since HPV is often acquired so soon after the initiation of sexual activity, early vaccination is the way to go. I speak on this as the father of two young teenage daughters, both of whom have received the Gardasil vaccine,” he added.

Another report released by the CDC last week provided more statistics.

Teen girls aged 15 to 19 accounted for the largest number (409,531) of the 1.5 million reported chlamydia and gonorrhea cases in the United States in 2008, followed by women aged 20 to 24, according to the annual federal report.

The researchers also found that black females continue to have a higher rate of STDs than any other racial or ethnic group.

Last year, there were about 1.2 million reported cases of chlamydia and nearly 337,000 reported cases of gonorrhea in the United States, according to the report.

Yep…a lot of this type of stuff could be prevented if there were a “real” program of sex ed in schools….but instead most states want to push some damn silly program like abstinence only….which has been a dismal failure from the get go…..so none of the recommendations will be met and the vicious cycles continues….and we have no one to blame but our own stupidity……the time to do something about this lack of knowledge and education is NOW…not after your Johnson falls off and you pee through a plastic tube……

Do YOU Need Sex?

From time to time I try to lighten up the stuff to keep from going completely batshit….and in doing so I usually post of sex thingy…..oh well…today is NO different….

Do YOU need sex?

The short answer is you bet your ass you do…..but with that said….how can we tell if we are approaching critical mass?

First of all,  Times of India is reporting:

Practically, a non-existing sexual life causes a lot of reactions, more or less explicable, and in some extreme cases it can lead to severe physical and philological reactions: skin itches, irritations, anger etc. You could end up hurting the ones beside you, emotionally or even physically, because you did not “read” one of your body’s cries for help.

Once you fully and completely understand your body’s message: “I need sex!” it will be a lot easier for you to identify the time periods these unpleasant symptoms occur. If you manage to do this, you will also be able to prevent them. Of course, these intervals vary from person to person, and they are dependent to certain factors, such as age, sex, lifestyle, physical condition, pregnancy, menopause etc.

All in all, make sure you take some time and really analyze yourself and your body, your needs and your desires, and that way you will manage to understand the course of action you have to take so that everything returns on its’ right normal “path” again.

Oh crap!  But how can I know if there is a need?
Must-have-sex signals
– Excessive nervousness
– Long states of unjustified anxiety, migraines
– Permanent stress
– Lack of food appetite
– Lack of the need to sleep
– Contradictory feelings regarding certain persons
– Frequent sexual fantasies, especially during nighttime.

Check the list…check it twice……

Dammit!  I need to get laid!

Do You Break Out After Sex?

The Prez is talking…..the troops are shooting…..Congress is doing nothing….Teabaggers are ……well you know?  So, I will attempt to lighten up the mood, at least for a day….it is Sexy Sunday!

Okay Ladies pay attention………

The exerpts are from an article written by Philippe Djegal:

Sex is known to relieve stress, lower blood pressure, and even lead to weight loss, but doctors say that, for some women, sexual intercourse can be harmful and sometimes deadly.”Hopefully, it’s caught early enough that it’s not fatal, but certainly as you go along in the natural history of this disease with continued exposure, symptoms usually come on faster and are more severe,” said Dr. Jonathan Buttram, a certified allergist and immunologist.

Itching, hives, difficulty breathing, vomiting, diarrhea, horrible uterine cramping and an inflammation of the lining of the rectum are all possible symptoms of seminal plasma hypersensitivity.

Doctors say the typical patient is a woman having intercourse for the first time. But, there have been cases where women who have been having sex with the same partner for years have developed this allergic reaction.

The best way to avoid this condition, health officials say, is to not have sex, which for some could be quite a stretch, or you could always fall back on old reliable.  (That would be to take things in your own hands)

It’s an extremely rare, but painful truth for some women. Doctors say if you are allergic to seminal fluid.

See guys your wedding tackle could be a lethal weapon………does that mean that a tattoo should be on the twig and berries that says “use of this item could be hazardous to your health”?

Weed Puts Limber In Your Joint!

This one is for all those stoners from high school…you know those guys that hit the pipe and would sit in the corner contemplating the meaning of string….

Yes, there has been yet another study on sex and weed:

Men who smoked pot daily were found to be four times more likely to have trouble reaching orgasm than men who did not inhale, according to the La Trobe University study.

Other daily male cannabis smokers experienced premature ejaculation at nearly three times the rate of non-smokers.

Professor Anthony Smith says while the habit often had a significant impact on a man’s sex life, the effects were not always something the smokers would consider a “sexual health problem”.

“The findings suggest that men are self-medicating with cannabis to delay orgasm,” said Prof Smith from the Melbourne-based university’s Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society.

“While many male smokers experienced sexual problems, they also reported more partners than non-smokers.

The study took in more than 8600 people, aged 16 to 64, who were surveyed by telephone as part of the Australian Longitudinal Study of Health and Relationships.

Participants were asked whether they had used cannabis in the previous year and, if yes, their frequency.

Overall, 8.7 per cent said they had used cannabis in the last year, with twice as many men (11.2 per cent) in the positive compared to women (6.1 per cent).

People under 36 were more likely to smoke marijuana than older participants.

The research also found women who smoked cannabis daily were more likely to have had two or more sexual partners in the previous year.

They were also seven times more likely to have been diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infection in the last year than non-smokers.

Now if that does not put the limber in your joint (pun intended), then nothing will….