When Girlfriend Meets Wife

Several of us have had this nightmare scenario….and there are many ways to handle it…..deny the existence of girlfriend until wife believe she is a figment of her imagination……or hide in the closet until everyone is asleep and then run like HELL…..or fall of the floor a fake a stroke……well, I am sure that you have one that is your choice….but you know I had thought I had heard most of the best ones…..but I was mistaken!

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colorado (AP) — Police say a man’s girlfriend unexpectedly came home just before another woman was due to visit, so he called police to report his new acquaintance as a burglar.

The Gazette reports (http://bit.ly/vfcH8c ) that 24-year-old Kevin Gaylor was cited with a misdemeanor of false reporting to authorities.

Police say Gaylor had invited a woman he met online to come to his home after 3 a.m. Wednesday so they could get better acquainted, but his girlfriend came home first.

Police say that when the other woman arrived, Gaylor called police and falsely reported an intrusion.

Okay…..very clever….but afterwards I bet he had 4 flat tires and a busted windshield……but the real story would be which of the ladies decided to get even first….what are the chances that the guy refused to leave the PD after he was released?

She Is Full Of Hot Air!

Once again the weekend is here I can kick back and have a Zen-fest….clear the mind of the Kabuki that is politics……and NO I am NOT talking about Bachmann or even Palin……and on these two days….I kinda like the absurd.

In these days of economic uncertainty there are some signs that businesses, some at least, are doing pretty good….. alcohol consumption being the most obvious….when economic times are tough more people turn to drink to try and forget their problems……but whiskey is not the only business that is showing signs of progress………

Richard Lawson of CNBC recently had a story on one industry that is doing well…….

“At a time when unemployment is high and bank account balances are low, people are passing the time by getting busy,” Stefan Dallakian, the owner of Paris Intimates – an online sex toy distributor-told me. It’s estimated that the sex-toy business is a $15 billion industry. As the U.S. economy has worsened, Dallakian said that he has seen sales for sex toys skyrocket.

[…]

A steady 9 percent unemployment rate and growth in self-employment also means that Americans are spending more time at home. And, as the idea of a “Staycation” has only received more buzz lately, people continue to opt to stay home in order to save money on gas and lodging.

So if you are unemployed or under-employed maybe you should for go the local “meat market” and head to a sex store and get yourself a box labeled “Niki, The Greek Goddess”…..think of the money you could save….the only problem is to NOT smoke after sex if Niki gets touched by a lit cig…..she will fly around the room like a balloon……

A New SUPER Thing

My last day and back to the mental masturbation that is our political system…..

It seems that almost weekly there is a new SUPER hero hitting the screens across the country…..Green Lantern, Capt. America, yada, yada……then there are supermarkets, super bugs, super secrets and so forth……do you remember the VW called the Super Bug?……speaking of bugs…….and then there are those STD’s like syphilis, clap, herpes, aids and many more….but can we call any of them Super?

Well, to be honest…..yes we can!

From an article in the Global Post……

Scientists are warning of a new, untreatable strain of gonorrhea, discovered in a sex trade worker in Japan.

The mutant strain of gonorrhea, a common sexually transmitted disease also known as “the clap,” is resistant to penicillin and other antibiotics, according to research presented at a conference on STDs held in Quebec City, reports Canada’s National Post.

Scientists from the Swedish Reference Laboratory have warned that the new “super” strain of the bacteria Neisseria gonorrhea, dubbed H041, is resistant to cephalosporins, a fourth-generation class of antibiotics. Unemo warned of a “future era of untreatable gonorrhea,” with the STD posing a major threat to public health.Gonorrhea is one of the world’s most common STDs, but if left untreated it can cause serious, life-threatening health complications in both women and men.

Symptoms of gonorrhea include a burning sensation when urinating, and the STD can cause discharge from the genitals, the BBC says. But some 50 percent of women infected with gonorrhea, and 2 to 5 percent of men, have no symptoms.

Holy Crap!  Once again it comes down to the only sex that is practiced without the fear of some sort of infection or such is……phone sex……… and that is the new definition for “oral sex”….it is about as much enjoyment as watching someone eat a great steak….Jesus…they can just suck (no pun intended) the fun out of anything, right?

A Boner Tax?

Sunday, a day of total relaxation and Zen…….this is how you keep from burning out of the crap we call….politics…….and NO!  I am not talking about the Speaker of the House….this post kinda goes along with yesterday’s post…….

Speaking of pole dancing!

We have many on the Right saying that we are taxed to death……we pay too much corporate tax or income tax or estate tax or…..well you get the idea…..we are taxed to death, so to speak……we pay taxes on everything…..now New York has another one….you know the state where they want to ban salt and tax soft drinks or ban cell phone use while walking…….they have a new tax to invoke…….a tax on a lap dance……

A state appeals court has dismissed a bid by an Albany-area strip club to wiggle out of paying $125,000 in back sales taxes on lap dances and admission fees charged to customers — and the ruling is arousing “exotic” dance clubs in the Big Apple.But the Appellate Division on Thursday unanimously ruled that Nite Moves was a typical jiggle joint subject to the sales tax — more bump-and-grind than art.

“In our view there can be no serious question that — at a bare minimum — petitioner failed to meet its burden of establishing that private dances offered at its club were choreographed performances,” Justice John Egan Jr. wrote in the Appellate Division, Third Department ruling.

So now NY wants to tax a boner….but is not sales tax charged on stuff that is tangible, like food or clothing or transportation?  Well, I guess one would get something tangible from a lap dance….but would not it be more of a service charge…..after all you are spending money for a service….you know kinda like hiring an architect or a lawyer?
All these political types want to cut taxes……but not if it is a sin tax……once again they are imposing their moral bullshit on me……or others, in this case……are other spectator sports taxed heavily?

Bring Sexy Back

Sunday and my final day of Zen…..my final day of joying the day without much thought of the fucked up world around me….tomorrow I will return to reality and to the grind of trying to help others understand what is happening in their world…..

Last Sunday I posted on the new proposed ban on doing anything with your penis until you are 18……NO piercings!  No circumcision!  NO tats!  Your wanker belongs to the state until you turn 18…..I find it humorous that the party of small government spends a lot of time trying to get into your private life and tell you what to do….well women have been dealing with that intrusion for decades and now men may taste what that is like……it could be a good thing…..but I digress…..

In yet another state where Repubs are in control….they are trying to define what sexy is….and once they do that they will try to outlaw it…..from the Newser website…….

Be careful how you act in Utah: If you get too “sexy,” you could find yourself arrested under a new law. The law broadens the definition of solicitation—agreeing to trade sex for money—to include “lewd acts” that imply you want to trade sex for money, like exposing or touching yourself. It was intended to help undercover law enforcement officers, who are sometimes asked by prostitutes to expose themselves in order to prove they’re not cops. Such requests are now illegal, the AP reports. But two escort services are suing to halt the law, claiming that it could lead to the arrest of licensed employees, like strippers or escorts, who are acting sexy as part of their job. “Most girls who touch their breasts are not telling you they’re open for sex,” says the attorney representing the escort services, noting that a similar law was struck down as unconstitutional in 1988. He worries that under this law, police could hassle legal businesses and potentially arrest exotic dancers for “suggestively thrusting.”

Is it not about time to call these pricks what they truly are….Puritan Cretans and the party of intrusive government?  I thought they, the GOP, sold themselves last election as the party of jobs?  What part of this stupidity creates jobs?

Divorcing? No Sex!

AH!  Zen!  My respite from the mind f*ck that is politics…..a couple of days to relax and  mentally refresh……

I bitch about the fact that the GOP, the party of smaller government , is spending a lot of political capital to inject the government into the middle of people’s lives, personal lives, that is…..Newser website has a good report on this type of intrusion….

Massachusetts lawmakers are considering a bill that would forbid parents from having sex inside their homes while getting divorced. The bill is intended to reduce domestic violence and protect children until their parents’ divorce is finalized, supporters tell My Fox Boston. But critics aren’t comfortable with the idea of the government regulating parents’ sex lives. The state is also considering a separate bill that would end lifetime alimony, imposing the kind of payment caps already in effect in most states. Click here for the text of the bill.

I am sorry….but this is one of those things that falls into the category of “none of their f*cking business”!  And I do wish that conservs would let the tag line of small government go….there is NOTHING small about the proposals that these state reps are trying to do…..it is the nanny state that they accuse the Dems of constantly…they need to stay out of people’s bedrooms….there is NOTHING there they need to be concerned over!

The GOP is becoming more and more silly with each passing election…the only way they can win is to LIE and LIE heavily….but I enjoy seeing the party of small government shoot themselves in the dick….

What Is He Thinking?

It is the weekend and as usual I found a story in the media that I just feel like I must comment on……and this one comes from the Reuters, which by the way have some amazingly odd stories……we at Info ink enjoy finding those stories that make us ask…WTF?

The more, the merrier is certainly true for Ziona Chana, a 66-year-old man in India’s remote northeast who has 39 wives, 94 children and 33 grandchildren — and wouldn’t mind having more.They all live in a four storied building with 100 rooms in a mountainous village in Mizoram state, sharing borders with Myanmar and Bangladesh, media reports said.

What is he thinking?  Or is he high on opium?

May I see a show of hands…..how many have been or are married?

Now knowing what you know about marriage, would you want another one or for that matter 38 more?

It is virtually impossible to make a wife happy all the time….and now this dude wants to try and make 39 happy….what is he thinking?  This guy has got to be a masochist!  Why else would he want to subject himself to this type of torture?  And to beat all…they all live in the same house…..39 women (wives)…… Oh My God!  This guy is just plain crazy!