Stop The Foolishness!

From the VOMITORIUM

Yep, last day of Zen before I return to shoveling fecal matter (politics)….and today I want to touch on a subject that I know a little about….FOOD!

In my younger years I had a small cafe and worked later as a chef in a Mexican restaurant…..I am not classically trained but rather self taught….and even if I do sound a bit egotistical….I am damn good cook…..yep, I’m a foodie…I watch the Food Network, when politics and news get to be too much to handle….and over the years I have had a few bitches about the crap they push on these shows…..

One–Fusion food….less food more money….and food is suppose to be cooked the way it was originally meant to be…there is NO Cajun chicken tandoori…..or curried quesadillas and definitely no jalapeno-blueberry vinaigrette and then there is BBQ……anybody can be a BBQ chef…….if you screw up just pour some sauce on it and send along…..all this is the invention of cooks that cannot cook classically and need multiple favors to hide how bad their cooking really is…..I had rather be known as a “GOOD” cook than good chef……

Two–I do not want to see a tower of food……you are a cook not an architect…if you want to be artistic…then go to art school and leave cooking to those that actually know how it is done…..there is NOTHING appetizing about a tower of mushrooms that is on the verge of collapse…….

Three–stop the CON JOB….”we eat with our eyes first”…that is bullshit!  If we did eat with our eyes first then NO one would eat a dish that looks like puke in a pot….gumbo or something that looks like the spew in the Exorcist…..stop conning people with cute little slogans, they are almost as bad as the ones politicians use…

Four–stop trying to insist that food needs massive amounts of seasoning….that is for Middle East food and jerk….they are the only ones that can pull it off….the rest then you are just f*cking up perfect good ingredients……

Five–stop putting your trust in idiots that wear the shades on the backs of their head or the ones that say you can cook a classic meal in 30 minutes or less…..one cannot make a dish like Coq au vin in 30 minutes or a lamb tagine…..cook them properly or stay out of the kitchen!

I know, I am being a bit harsh and critical…but some of these TV chefs act like they have a cure for leprosy…….. food is a necessity and it should be enjoyed prepared the way it was intended…to take short cuts just pisses up good food…..if you cannot do it right or do not have the time….then go to KFC and stop pretending.

Just remember….those who cannot cook well become TV chefs…….food for thought!

Now that I have that off my chest…..please return to your holiday festivities and enjoy……